Why Mother’s Day is Awkward for Me
Awkward? Weird feeling for Mother’s Day? I have always had a weird, strange feelings about Mother’s Day. Perhaps I should explain.
My mother died when I was nearly seven. Six-and-a-half years old, my mother died of suicide. I was too young to understand the whys. The trauma also cost me all of my memories. About a year later, I moved in with my Aunt Vickie, who later adopted my two identical twin sisters and me. She “became” my mother.
Now, as a mother myself, I understand her sacrifice in taking on that responsibility. However, life wasn’t easy for any of us. I was removed from her home at age 12. I never returned, though I still consider her my mother. It has hurt tremendously over the years to watch as she treated my sisters as if they were her loving daughters, and yet, she treats me like a stranger.
I didn’t speak to her for several years when I was young. Then, after my daughter was born, I didn’t think it was fair to allow my feelings to get in the way of her relationship with her grandmother. So I tried to mend things the best that I could.
It has never been easy. No matter how often I try to pretend to be her daughter, I only feel…
