Dating in the Lifestyle: Part 2 The Pitfalls

Lenore T. Rose
9 min readMar 21, 2022
Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

I thought I would follow up on the previous article about dating in the lifestyle. After all, dating can be an adventure. Here, I share more on how the search is going, pitfalls in dating apps, and other crazy dating experiences. Unfortunately, I’m a bit behind in my writing — ideas piling up in my head. You know the feeling when you want to write, but life gets in the way. Dating for me lately has been a serious comedy of errors, so here I am sharing some questions, ideas, and pitfalls of lifestyle dating after 50.

Photo by Nickolas Nikolic on Unsplash

Is lifestyle dating different than vanilla dating?

Yes, but some things are the same. We are all now products of the swipe left philosophy. If likes, hearts, and swipes aren’t your thing, realize that all those other dating app users disagree. Dating, in general, is similar. You meet someone fabulous; you hit it off, start fucking like bunnies, and antagonize each other later. At least until you break it off, right?

Dating in the lifestyle can be challenging on many levels. It is common to go out with friends, have a couple of drinks, then spot that hot man or woman across the room. If you were vanilla, you might stalk your prey from across the room and strategize how you will bump into them to start a conversation. If lifestyle dating were that easy, I wouldn’t be writing this.

Many individuals who enjoy BDSM eventually realize that they cannot date someone who is vanilla sexually. We all fall victim to the idea of love. In reality, you know that the fresh excitement of your new relationship won’t last. Over time, not getting the type of satisfaction needed sexually can wear on the relationship. If it isn’t an open relationship with honest communication about having other partners, it simply leads to cheating, hurt feelings, and disappointment. It is better to find compatibility with someone who has similar sexual interests for the long term.

If you meet a potential partner, say by bumping into them at a party or a blind date set up by a friend — at some point, the conversation will come up. If not before you end up drinking the entire bottle of wine, it will hit you…



Lenore T. Rose

Creative spirit. Overworked human. Idea developer. Poet. Artist. Animal rescuer.